Today’s Passage: “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails...” I Corinthians 13:4-8a
The first fruit of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5:22 is love. Certainly, much can be written about love and we will not be able to exhaust the subject in these next two devotionals. The love that comes from God is sacrificial love and is greater than our human minds can fathom. True love means loving those who don’t deserve it. After all, we did not deserve to be saved, yet God through His wonderful gift of grace chose to offer salvation to us. This is not something God had to do, but it is something He chose to do because He loves us. While people were hurting His Son, God was working to provide salvation to all of us through Jesus’ sacrifice (John 3:16). Praise the Lord that we serve such a loving God and that He has revealed to us in His Word how we should love one another.
This study, we will look at what love is not. Then, Lord willing, we will study what love is in our next devotional.
1. Love is not loving only the lovable.
In Jesus’ day, there were many misunderstandings about love. Jesus contrasts the thoughts of the day with His higher form of love. In Matthew 5:38-39, Jesus said: “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.” Here we learn that love is not taking revenge but it is showing meekness (power under control). Jesus was the greatest example of this characteristic in that He could have instantly punished those who spit on Him, mocked Him, beat Him and slapped Him. Yet He did not because He knew His mission. His love for mankind was strong enough for Him to overcome the temptation to punish His abusers.
Continuing on in Matthew 5:40-42, Jesus taught, “If anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.” Again, we learn that love is being selfless and humble enough to “lose face” in order to show Christ’s love to those who hate us. Nothing on this earth is more important than Jesus’ love. A replacement cloak can be bought and going further than we are commanded to go in order to help another will surely not kill us. Certainly, wisdom must be combined with these teachings if the person asking for money is addicted to alcohol or other drugs, or if the person asking for our butcher knife is known to be violent. But in the majority of situations, if someone needs our help, we should be willing to help with loving kindness, showing no partiality.
Jesus further teaches in Matthew 5:43-44, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.” These teachings are not easy, but Jesus Christ showed us how we are to live these teachings. Christ did not just tell us what to do, but He obeyed the same teachings. How much love would it take to ask God to forgive those who are crucifying you? Certainly, Jesus loved His neighbor and His enemies. We must learn to love those who are hard to love and even those who mean us harm. When we can think of someone who has harmed us, and the first thought that comes to mind is no longer the harm they did, we are well on our way to loving our enemies. This may take much prayer and dedication to learn to replace our negative thoughts of a person with concern for their souls, while petitioning to God in our prayers that he or she will repent and be forgiven.
2. Love is not hypocritical or fake or showing partiality.
We learn in Romans 12:9 that our love must be free of hypocrisy. James 2:8-9 teaches, “If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you do well; but if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors.” We should not show favoritism or seek personal favors by pretending to love someone. Also, we must not withhold love from those who are not of the same status. If we say that we love someone but then have negative thoughts about them and do not wish that person well, are we being genuine? Love is not merely an emotion; it is a sacrifice for others because we treasure them above ourselves (Philippians 2:3). We are also taught in this verse to hate what is evil and cleave to what is good. We must learn to love the person and hate the sin. This requires us to want to help the sinner to be saved by showing kindness and love while teaching God’s Word.
3. Love is not envious, for display, arrogant, rude, self-seeking, easily provoked, thinking evil thoughts, the enjoyment of sin or something we do for a short time only.
According to I Corinthians 13:4-6, 8: “love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity…Love never fails.” This passage is a great study of what love is and what it is not. We could spend many hours discussing each of these points!
4. Love is not something we do out of fear of punishment.
We are taught in II Timothy 1:7 that our primary motivation to do good should not be one of fear but one of genuine love. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” Though we should have a fear of punishment if we fail to repent of our sins, we should not have such an unhealthy image of God that we picture Him as an unloving and uncaring dictator. He is our loving Father who longs to hold us and protect us (Matthew 23:37) and will wipe our tears away in Heaven (Revelation 7:17; 21:4). If we do good to others simply to escape damnation, then we have missed the entire teachings of Jesus and the love of God shown to us throughout His plan of salvation.
5. Love is not part of us if we hate a brother or sister in Christ.
John, by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, had much to write regarding love. In I John 3:10, we learn that we are of the devil and not God if we do not practice righteousness or if we do not love our brother (or sister) in Christ. Additionally, if we say that we love God but then hate our brother, we are a liar, according to I John 4:20. In order to love God, we must love our fellow Christians, for we are all God’s children and heirs of His promise.
6. Love is not withholding good from others.
If we have the ability to care for others and do not do so, then we do not have love. In James 4:14-17, we learn that if we pray for a brother or sister who needs clothes or food but do not help them when we have the capacity to do so, it profits neither them nor us anything. Also, we read that “whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.” I John 3:17-18
7. Love is not overlooking sin in order to maintain peace.
We must not love the world or the sin therein. I John 2:15 teaches us: “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.” Not only must we avoid participating in sin, we must also ensure that we do not seem to approve of it by ignoring it. Ephesians 5:3-7 lists many sins that “must not even be named” among us, but we are also warned that we must not be partakers with them. If we go to a party where others drink and dance, even if we avoid alcohol and dance with no one, what message must it send when we laugh and have fun with those who do? How can we hate sin and yet enjoy ourselves among those who are involved in it?
Romans 1:28-32 is a soul-searching passage. We may say that they do not gossip, are not proud, are not disobedient to parents, violent, unloving and so forth, but do we overlook these sins in our friends? After a list of sins that come from a debased mind, the judgment is passed that “those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.” Are we guilty of supporting those whose lives are full of sin? We should be careful to look at our own lives and determine if we allow the sin of the world to lull us into a sense of complacency and tolerance.
There are many more things that love is not, but I pray this suffices for us to begin thinking about our own love. Do we have any of these negative characteristics? If so, my prayer is that we recognize their dangers, repent of these sins and ask the Lord and those we have harmed to forgive us.
In our next devotional, if the Lord wills, we will study what love is.
May the Lord richly bless you and me as we seek to live more loving lives and to shine Christ’s light throughout this dark world.
