Today’s Passage: “Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land” (Proverbs 31:23)
It has been quite some time since our last lesson. I apologize for the delay in writing and ask for your forgiveness as well as the Lord’s for allowing other things to interfere. I believe that today’s lesson is very important to those of us who are wives because it appeals to our duty to our husband. It also applies to those who are single or widowed because all of us are in subjection to Christ and should seek to avoid bring reproach upon the church or Christ by ungodly behavior.
Proverbs 31:23 teaches us that the virtuous woman’s husband is known at the gates and sits among the elders of the land. To understand the importance of this statement, a brief history lesson is in order. In Exodus 18, Moses’ father-in-law Jethro came to visit. He noticed that Moses judged the people from morning to evening. Jethro questioned Moses as to why he was attempting to do everything himself. He stated that Moses would soon wear himself out if he continued in this manner. Jethro suggested that he select able men to assist Moses as opposed to trying to personally judge every situation alone. So Moses followed his father-in-law’s sound advice and appointed other men to judge smaller cases. Judges and elders were very important throughout the history of the Israelites.
Elders of cities decided cases such as murder, blood redemption and family issues. Deuteronomy 1:9-18 describes the selection of “tribal leaders”, “wise and knowledgeable men” as leaders over the people and the judges that were assigned to decide the cases that could be handled without Moses’ personal involvement.
As you can imagine, these duties were very important and only men who were considered to be wise, knowledgeable and just were to be selected. It was imperative that their wives were supportive and above reproach as well. It would be very difficult for an elder to sit in judgment over a city if his wife was not of good reputation, also.
The virtuous woman was of a godly nature so that her husband’s reputation was not blighted and he was able to take his place among the noble men of the land. We are taught in Proverbs 12:4 that “an excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.” What a pity that there are wives who do not properly respect their husbands and thus bring shame upon their names. God commands us to respect our husbands (Ephesians 5:33).
We discussed in a past study that Eve was created for Adam as a helpmeet. Whether society agrees or not, if we are Christians, we are to be submissive and respectful of our husbands. This is not discriminatory against women and does not seek to make us second rate citizens; however, God has established the home in the manner in which He desires. Our Lord God knows far more than we as humans do. Only by serving in our proper roles in our homes and the church can peace reign among us.
It should be said of each of us who are married or are engaged that “he who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD” Proverbs 18:22. Our husbands should not have to worry that we will do or say something that is unfit for Christian wives. They should be able to trust that we will stand behind them and support them so long as they are standing on the side of Christ, no matter how many so-called “friends” we may lose for doing so.
A good and noble wife is a gift from God. Proverbs 19:14 teaches that “houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.” Prudent means “discreet, wise and careful” according to Dictionary.com. Such a woman can be trusted when a man makes the decision to “leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife” Mark 10:7. It would be a great tragedy for a man to leave his family only to discover that his wife is not the Christian woman he thought she was. Each of us are responsible for making our homes a safe place for our husband to live, growing in the love and support of a pure and holy woman.
Let us be careful that we are women who do not demand more than our husbands should give. God must come first in our husbands’ lives before the wife. Jesus said that “everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My name’s sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life” Matthew 19:29. Let us live our lives in such a way that we encourage our husbands to follow Christ and do not force him to make a choice between following Christ and pleasing us. Our journey should be in the same direction if he is seeking to live a Christian life.
If our husbands are not living for Christ, we should be patient and loving according to God’s Word. We do not know the enormous impact of our good example. “For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?” I Corinthians 7:16. By living a godly life even in the midst of turmoil and an unhappy home life, a wife may lead her husband and children to Christ. I have known several women whose husbands were not saved until later in life. “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear” I Peter 3:1-2. You are the single greatest example of Christ that your husband may likely ever know. You are the model of how he should live and it may take years before he allows the seed of God to flourish that has been planted by your example.
Often, we think of wives of elders and deacons as needing to be supportive and above reproach; however, we should be helping grow future deacons and elders while our husbands are still young. Regardless of whether our husband decides to serve in this capacity, we should still live as blameless, temperate and honorable as if we were wives of such men. All Christian women should be held to the same standard: the Word of God. Though not every man will serve in specific roles of service, every Christian woman should live in such a way that the Word of God is not maligned (Titus 2:4-5). We should strive to live as examples of what Christ wants us to be.
We have a choice to make as wives: we can help our husbands grow stronger in the Lord or we can hinder them in their service. We can even contribute to the destruction of their souls if we are not careful. An example of a wife who did not encourage her husband to make the right choice is Sapphira (Acts 5). She, along with her husband, lost her life due to her sin. On the other hand, Priscilla is a shining example of a pure and godly woman. She taught Apollos alongside her husband (Acts 18:2). Priscilla and Aquila journeyed with Paul to Syria and Ephesus (Acts 18:18-19). The church met in their home and they encouraged the brethren in Corinth (I Corinthians 16:19). Much good was done in the early church because of Priscilla and thankfulness for her service was given by Paul (Romans 16:3).
May God bless us as Christian wives to help lead our families to the Lord. We have great opportunity to be examples to others whether we are single, married, mothers or grandmothers. God foreknows His children, and therefore we are right where we should be at the time that we should be here. Isn’t that a wonderful thought? Surely we are all important to His kingdom and therefore we are needed in our local congregation and in the homes in which we live.
God bless you as you serve Him today and every day.
