Today’s Passage: “Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:10-12
Most of us are familiar with Proverbs 31:10-31 and the qualities that God values in a woman. I ask you to travel with me through this well-known passage as we study the qualities of a virtuous woman in depth throughout the next couple of weeks if the Lord wills. Perhaps new insight will be gained along the journey. At the very least, it does no harm in reviewing familiar passages to ensure that they are fresh on our minds as we travel through our daily lives seeking to please God as Christian women. Please note that although this passage refers to a virtuous wife and mother, the lesson is applicable to every Christian woman, regardless of marital or family status.
The “Virtuous Woman” text beginning in verse 10 was written as an alphabetic acrostic in which the verses of each stanza begin with a letter of the Hebrew alphabet in order. Below is a very simplistic example of the same idea in English. Please forgive me as this is my first venture into acrostic poetry!
Always am I honored
By your willingness to study and your
Concern for God’s will in your lives.
Deeply and humbly I feel towards
Every woman who reads these devotionals…
As you can see, the first letter of each line begins with a letter of the alphabet (A-E) and would continue on until the letter Z. In the Hebrew alphabet, there are 22 letters, hence 22 lines from Proverbs 31:10-31. Acrostic poetry is used often in the Bible, especially in the Psalms. For example, Psalm 119 begins each stanza with a letter of the Hebrew alphabet from beginning to end (Aleph, Beth, and so on through Tav).
Although some of the beauty of the Hebrew poetry in its original language has been lost in translation, we know that God’s “divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue” II Peter 1:3. Since this knowledge comes through the study of His Word, we know that the things He revealed have been kept intact throughout the various languages in which the Bible is available today, though we should take caution to ensure that the translation we study is as close to the original as it can be. In fact, comparison of various texts is generally a good way to develop a better understanding of the meaning. The translation used in the study today is the New King James version unless otherwise specified.
Before we begin, a definition of “virtuous” is in order. The American Heritage dictionary defines virtuous as “having or showing virtue, especially moral excellence” and “possessing or characterized by chastity; pure”. Moral excellence and purity are key thoughts throughout the twenty verses describing a virtuous woman in Proverbs 31.
Proverbs 31:10 - “Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.”
This verse shows how difficult it was to find a virtuous wife in the days of old and indeed this question can apply today. Matthew Henry wrote in his Commentary on the Whole Bible Volume III, “This intimates that good women are very scarce, and many that seem to be so do not prove so.” How true that statement is! Those of you who are raising teenagers surely know how difficult it is to keep them pure and godly though they face immorality, promiscuity and indecency wherever they turn. Having written that, I should mention that it is sometimes no less difficult to keep ourselves from being conformed to the lusts of the world.
Yet we know that such a woman can be found if she is striving to be a woman approved by God. When she is found, she is worth more than costly jewels or all of the money in the world; for she is a Christian woman who will bring honor to her husband and raise her children to follow the Lord. How wonderful to be labeled a virtuous woman and to be considered a rare gem!
Proverbs 31:11 - “The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.”
The first quality that we should have as Christian women is trustworthiness. If our spouses, friends or family (as applicable to your situation) cannot trust us because we are dishonest, we will be unable to develop any virtuous qualities in our relationship. Note that “lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, but those who deal truthfully are His delight” (Proverbs 12:22) and “an honest answer is like a kiss on the lips” (Proverbs 24:26 NIV). No friendship or marriage can be happily sustained if its foundation is not built on truth.
Not only can the husband in this verse trust his wife to be honest, he can trust her with his money. Reading further, we see that “he will have no lack of gain”. Several commentators describe this to mean that his wife can be trusted with his earnings so that he does not have to make a living in underhanded ways. The seriousness of our ability to use our money wisely is indicated by the suggestion of the husband turning to dishonest gain. Certainly, the husband would be accountable for his own actions, but how many men’s lives have been ruined by the unchaste behavior or lack of good stewardship exhibited by their wives?
The next sentence states that “she does him good and not evil all the days of her life”. It is a shame to see couples who are at odds with each other belittle their spouse to others. I have been privy to conversations that should have been kept behind closed doors. Certainly, this does not mean that couples should not seek the counsel of other Christians or a marriage counselor, but it is not Christ-like to publicly air one’s “dirty laundry”. Doing so can only bring shame to the other party and will seek to further drive a wedge into the relationship.
No matter how unhappy we are with our marriage, we should seek to show Christ’s love by doing good to our husband instead of seeking to tear him down. The same can be said of children who demean their parents or parents who continually criticize their children in front of others. It is paramount for us to remember Jesus’ sacrifice as Paul reminds us in Romans 5:8: “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” When Christ was being spit upon, He remained silent. When He was nailed to the cross, He prayed for man’s forgiveness. How then can we feel justified in speaking ill of our loved ones because they are “mean to us” if Christ looked upon those who were crucifying with compassion?
We should read Proverbs 31 on a regular basis to remind ourselves of God’s standard for His children. We are instructed to do our husbands good and not evil every day of our lives. That is indeed quite a high standard, but one which we should all strive to meet.
Thankfully, if we find ourselves as Christians having fallen short of this standard (and who could claim to have never failed to do good to her spouse throughout her marriage or to her parents throughout her childhood?), we are given the opportunity to learn of God’s will through the Word, consider our attitudes and actions, confess our sins to the Lord and make adjustments to our lives as necessary. Every day should be spent seeking to do good to others.
Let us end with another very simple acrostic: JOY.
Jesus
Others
Yourself
By putting God first and others second, we have much less time to worry about our own selfish desires. By finding the true joy that comes being women of great worth, valuable more than rubies, we may soon realize that our husband or family member’s attitude toward us has changed and that their heart can indeed safely trust us.
God bless you in your unique journey as you seek to be a virtuous woman, morally excellent and pure. May we all benefit from daily study in His Word and discover the great riches that He has promised us if we are obedient to the gospel and remain faithful until the end.
